Do You Not Like Power Struggles Or Are You Just a Pushover

"Do you not like power struggles or are you just a pushover?" This is a question I’ve been asking myself lately.

In the previous blog, I talked about how I noticed a pattern in power struggles and an inability to let go or change. I also get cautious, because sometimes, I let go too easily and don’t fight when I should or have been known to give away a lot of power.

I noticed this, especially with pets, which I spend more time with.

A cat will repeatedly knock books off a shelf, and because I don’t use physical violence or force, because I don’t raise my voice, after letting them know not to do it, and them repeatedly still doing it, I eventually let go altogether and left the books there altogether.

I threw the towel in.

“I don’t do power struggles, you win.”

Because at this point, it’s clear there won’t be any changes in the cat’s behaviour. This is the spot where they like to hang out. They don’t mean to knock the books over, or maybe they do. In any case, the pattern is not being disrupted.

I don’t know how to train cats in this way, nor can I over this short period of time. So, I pivoted. I left the books on the floor until right before I left when put them back.

For me, my peace is more important. Why stress myself out. It’s not worth it.

Once I see I’m not getting anywhere with you. Once I acknowledge that power is not in my favour, or rather, beyond me, and out of my control. I’ll let go. Like the scene in Squid Games when they are losing the tug of war, and the strategy is to let go.

I’m heavy on the let go, in that regard.

“You win. Take the power. Have fun. Knock yourself out. I don’t do power struggles.”

But isn’t that also being a pushover, in some way? This is the debate I see online with the whole “gentle parenting” thing.

Watch the video for more.

Until next time, in solidarity.